Leader of the Pack
I love The Dog Whisperer.
There's nothing more annoying (to a guest) than badly-behaved domestic animals. It's also annoying--and embarassing--to their owners. Sometimes dogs are inherited from other people, who didn't (or didn't know how to) train them correctly, and sometimes we raise them ourselves, not knowing how to train them. Training animals isn't common knowledge in our culture. That's why we're happy to have Cesar Millan in our lives.
Cesar has introduced the concept of a household being a pack, in a dog's mind. Dogs are pack animals, so they think of the group they live in as their pack; it doesn't matter that it includes other species like their human owners, cats, etc. If their humans do not take charge as being pack leaders, dogs will take charge and run willy-nilly wherever they want. They'll jump up on people, or fight with other dogs, or pilfer food (even from unattended plates or your hand), or pull you to your death on walks, or take possession of something or someone and not let others near it, and other behaviors that we don't cotton to. This lack of control stems from insecurity, and they're insecure because they don't know their place in the pack. Not unlike kids whose parents are lax in disciplining them because they want to "be friends" with them. Resist the temptation to be friends--you are not their peer. Be a friend to your children when they're already grown and you can establish a relationship with them as equal adults. Never be a friend to your dog. Love him, of course, but be the boss. Both kids and dogs are looking to us, the adults, who have more strength, intelligence, and life experience, to be the leaders and show them what's appropriate. Boundaries help them to feel secure. So we're actually helping them when we're firm and maintain the rules of the household. We're keeping a happy pack that way. Above all, you need to walk tall with your head up high and let your strong presence come through in your body language. No hemming or hawing. Exude confidence. Otherwise, they won't take you seriously. Anything else is omega dog behavior, and no one listens to the omega dog. Your dog won't, either.
Once your dog understands the rules, you're free to love him and pet him like you want to. But he has to perceive that the affection is a reward for his doing what you want him to do--if you give him affection when he's charging the guests who just walked in the door, you're reinforcing bad behavior, because he's getting the attention he wants when he does it. Why should he stop the bad behavior, then? There's no incentive for him to stop.
Now, obviously, I'm not advocating being a fascist. There's a way to be firm without being mean about it. Watch the way Cesar does it. Even so, all of this may sound harsh to some, especially the tender-hearted who may feel that being firm is not being loving, but it really is necessary to think like dogs think. This is how their society is structured. This is the language they speak. In order to communicate your expectations to them, you have to speak their language. Sure, it's a lot of effort to put in--you have to be consistent, or it won't work. But only until they fully understand who's pack leader in the house. Once they get it, they readily accept it, and they fall into line. You just have to flex your muscles a little bit after that, to maintain your role.
There's nothing more annoying (to a guest) than badly-behaved domestic animals. It's also annoying--and embarassing--to their owners. Sometimes dogs are inherited from other people, who didn't (or didn't know how to) train them correctly, and sometimes we raise them ourselves, not knowing how to train them. Training animals isn't common knowledge in our culture. That's why we're happy to have Cesar Millan in our lives.
Cesar has introduced the concept of a household being a pack, in a dog's mind. Dogs are pack animals, so they think of the group they live in as their pack; it doesn't matter that it includes other species like their human owners, cats, etc. If their humans do not take charge as being pack leaders, dogs will take charge and run willy-nilly wherever they want. They'll jump up on people, or fight with other dogs, or pilfer food (even from unattended plates or your hand), or pull you to your death on walks, or take possession of something or someone and not let others near it, and other behaviors that we don't cotton to. This lack of control stems from insecurity, and they're insecure because they don't know their place in the pack. Not unlike kids whose parents are lax in disciplining them because they want to "be friends" with them. Resist the temptation to be friends--you are not their peer. Be a friend to your children when they're already grown and you can establish a relationship with them as equal adults. Never be a friend to your dog. Love him, of course, but be the boss. Both kids and dogs are looking to us, the adults, who have more strength, intelligence, and life experience, to be the leaders and show them what's appropriate. Boundaries help them to feel secure. So we're actually helping them when we're firm and maintain the rules of the household. We're keeping a happy pack that way. Above all, you need to walk tall with your head up high and let your strong presence come through in your body language. No hemming or hawing. Exude confidence. Otherwise, they won't take you seriously. Anything else is omega dog behavior, and no one listens to the omega dog. Your dog won't, either.
Once your dog understands the rules, you're free to love him and pet him like you want to. But he has to perceive that the affection is a reward for his doing what you want him to do--if you give him affection when he's charging the guests who just walked in the door, you're reinforcing bad behavior, because he's getting the attention he wants when he does it. Why should he stop the bad behavior, then? There's no incentive for him to stop.
Now, obviously, I'm not advocating being a fascist. There's a way to be firm without being mean about it. Watch the way Cesar does it. Even so, all of this may sound harsh to some, especially the tender-hearted who may feel that being firm is not being loving, but it really is necessary to think like dogs think. This is how their society is structured. This is the language they speak. In order to communicate your expectations to them, you have to speak their language. Sure, it's a lot of effort to put in--you have to be consistent, or it won't work. But only until they fully understand who's pack leader in the house. Once they get it, they readily accept it, and they fall into line. You just have to flex your muscles a little bit after that, to maintain your role.
Your guests will love and respect you for doing that. And you just might feel a bit proud, yourself.
Comments
I should read "Marley & Me"--my sister has a black lab. And she is very sweet & adorable when she is calm. The book sounds like a great read.
BTW, Cesar Millan also has a book out called "Cesar's Way"--so if anyone doesn't get the National Geographic Channel, like me, they can still find out about his philosophy when it comes to dog rehabilitation. Or they can just have their friends and relations TiVo the show--also like me. (:
Yes, Cesar "rehabilitates dogs and trains people"! I heard that his grandmother used to do the "Sh!" sound whenever he and his siblings were behaving undesirably, to distract them, so he got it from her! He might mention that in the book. And yes, he's a cutie! Everyone here at work who watches it thinks he's adorable!