At Last...

After so long, I thought, it won’t happen. Not a chance. I’ve looked and looked and not found what I’m looking for, that magick that happens in a single night. You all read about it, how I’m not That Girl, and how I miss being with boys. I decided I’m giving up, just going to have fun with my family and friends and live life to the fullest, dancing till dawn and laughing till the wee hours. And I had become comfortable with that.

But then, it DID happen.

I loved someone. And he loved me back.

We began as friends. Knew each other in high school back in Rhode Island, before I moved here to California. Didn’t keep in touch, but he found me via Facebook and he remembered me. I remembered him, too, even though we hadn’t had that many exchanges back then. So we began to get to know each other as we were currently, the 40-year-old versions of us, much wiser in the ways of the world than the kids we’d been. We’d both been around the block and learned a few things along the way. And we were happier people now. We bonded over art and poetry and writing and glass dip pens and typewriters and antiques and...and...and...so much else. There was positivity and love for family and friends, and choosing to live life in the way we wanted to, in the name of The Muse. There was mutual admiration and respect for who we were, as people. We were each other’s cheerleaders, muses, emotional buoys in rough seas that followed, in each of our personal lives. We were there for one another. It was unspoken--we just were.

Then he came to visit me in California. It was as if we’d known each other, always. Familiar, comfortable, lovely. We marveled at one another. We had a blast going out to art shows, out to eat, seeing cemeteries, buying hats, taking arty pictures of ourselves, laughing ourselves silly. By the end of the visit, we knew. There was love that had grown between us. There were stars in our eyes.

There is so much joy with him. There is so much ease with him. There's all the support I could ever need with him. We are similar creatures, similar enough to get one another, yet different enough in all the right ways to be the yin/yang to the other's yang/yin that is needed. He sees me, the sublime and the ridiculous, and I see him, the wonder of him that he is. He's a man, not a boy. We feed each other, artistically, with positivity, with ideas, with passion--and yet we are both East Coast-grounded in daily life. We feel home in each other.

And always, friends first and foremost.

These words do not capture all the Magick between us, but perhaps a picture will give a glimpse inside.

There is now love in my little life. I love someone amazing. And he loves me back.

For you, M. Thank you for being You, in my life. <3