When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
Do we love Prilosec? Oh yes, we do! Thanks to Leah's referral, I have begun taking it, and can begin to think about living my life again.
I was going through a thing for the past couple of days, where I felt...well...broken. Like my body is not the well-oiled machine it was when I was a wee girl. Well, quite honestly, it ain't. I gotta get used to it. It's only the beginning. I used to be able to eat anything I wanted and never had to exercise, and I never gained weight. Yeah, I was one of those. I used to be able to drink coffee till all hours, and still get to sleep immediately afterwards. I used to be able to drink coffee. I used to be able to pull all-nighters and still go to class and work an 8-hour day the next day, no problem! Now, it's a very different story...and a sad, sad story, at that. No caffeine, no nocturnal extravaganzas, no junk food, and lotsa exercise to put a cap on the ol' blood pressure. It's part of being human, part of getting older. Mentally, I understand that. But emotionally...this is my first brush with it, people. I'm in my mid-30's, and I didn't think I'd have to start dealing with this till at least my 40's. I really didn't. How would I know? You don't know it until you get there. Even if people who have arrived there before you tell you that all of this shit will be happening someday, you don't really believe it. You still have the "oh no, not me" mentality of youth lingering in your brain. You still imagine yourself capable of outrunning age. You alone, out of every single human being born into this world, will be immortal, by god! And then reality bitch-slaps you. Your family history is riddled with heart disease and your blood pressure is rising like dough. You feel it when you get dehydrated from all the coffee and soda you drink. You see the results of stress-eating. You're so out-of-shape that going up more than one flight winds you. So you change your diet, you drink more water than you ever have previously, you walk more and exercise as much as you can...and you hope to god that it's going to make a difference, that it will save you from heart attacks and strokes and diabetes and cancer of every single body part you own.
And yet, you still have to live your life. Separate from, or in spite of, these health issues. Make your art. See your shows. Drink your mimosas. Do the Lindy Hop. So that is what I'm intending on doing. Doing what I have to do to improve the body, make it stronger, so it will serve me better. A body is a tool for doing what you want to do in life, and what do we need to do with our tools, kids? That's right--take care of them! If we take care of our tools, our tools take care of us. Learn it, know it, live it.
I was going through a thing for the past couple of days, where I felt...well...broken. Like my body is not the well-oiled machine it was when I was a wee girl. Well, quite honestly, it ain't. I gotta get used to it. It's only the beginning. I used to be able to eat anything I wanted and never had to exercise, and I never gained weight. Yeah, I was one of those. I used to be able to drink coffee till all hours, and still get to sleep immediately afterwards. I used to be able to drink coffee. I used to be able to pull all-nighters and still go to class and work an 8-hour day the next day, no problem! Now, it's a very different story...and a sad, sad story, at that. No caffeine, no nocturnal extravaganzas, no junk food, and lotsa exercise to put a cap on the ol' blood pressure. It's part of being human, part of getting older. Mentally, I understand that. But emotionally...this is my first brush with it, people. I'm in my mid-30's, and I didn't think I'd have to start dealing with this till at least my 40's. I really didn't. How would I know? You don't know it until you get there. Even if people who have arrived there before you tell you that all of this shit will be happening someday, you don't really believe it. You still have the "oh no, not me" mentality of youth lingering in your brain. You still imagine yourself capable of outrunning age. You alone, out of every single human being born into this world, will be immortal, by god! And then reality bitch-slaps you. Your family history is riddled with heart disease and your blood pressure is rising like dough. You feel it when you get dehydrated from all the coffee and soda you drink. You see the results of stress-eating. You're so out-of-shape that going up more than one flight winds you. So you change your diet, you drink more water than you ever have previously, you walk more and exercise as much as you can...and you hope to god that it's going to make a difference, that it will save you from heart attacks and strokes and diabetes and cancer of every single body part you own.
And yet, you still have to live your life. Separate from, or in spite of, these health issues. Make your art. See your shows. Drink your mimosas. Do the Lindy Hop. So that is what I'm intending on doing. Doing what I have to do to improve the body, make it stronger, so it will serve me better. A body is a tool for doing what you want to do in life, and what do we need to do with our tools, kids? That's right--take care of them! If we take care of our tools, our tools take care of us. Learn it, know it, live it.
Comments